Koreankupcake

Parentism?

koreankupcake — Sat, 05 Jun 2010 19:27:31 +0000

We all know of racism, ageism, sexism, etc. but I think there should be a new “ism” called parentism. I admit, I am guilty of it myself. I used to like to hang out with all of my non-parent friends and do all the things that people with kids could not do (stay out late, randomly decide to go to a drive-thru at 2am with your partner, take an overnight trip on a whim, go out to dinner without having to plan for weeks in advance to have a sitter lined up . . . ok, you get my drift). I usually was planning to hang out with friends who also were not “with child” and often excluded my friends who were parents.

Now I feel bad. Now that I have kids (or rather A kid) I find myself on the other side of parentism. In other words, being left out of get-togethers (because who wants to have a wine-tasting with a screaming toddler adding to the ambiance?), not being invited out for spontaneous activities (because “Carrie couldn’t go anyway – she’d have to find a sitter”). Anyway, just makes me a little sad, I guess. I figure everyone who has children will also discover how all of this feels. And, I know as well that we parents tend to stick together too. We typically are more comfortable with other parents who have been through similar scenarios. So if I am sitting at lunch with a mommy girlfriend and one of our children (likely mine) decides to have a tantrum, I don’t feel nearly as bad as I would if it were a non-mommy friend dining with me. Don’t worry – I still feel bad and hate that my child is interrupting many other lunches. But, I know from firsthand experience, the non-mommy friend is like, “whoa – what do I do? I will act like this screaming child isn’t interfering with my adult lunch, but s/he is and I know when I have kids, s/he will not act this way.”

Anyway, just needed to get that off my chest. I LOVE my daughter more than anything in the world and I wouldn’t trade the experiences I have had with her for anything. I just wish that I had known pre-baby what I know now.

that will never be me

koreankupcake — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 20:55:32 +0000

I went out with some friends last Saturday night. One girl I was just meeting for the first time. She was way younger than me (like 10 years younger!) and she is one of those people who just exudes sensuality (in a good way – not being perverbted). We had a fantabulous dinner at a tapas restaurant, went to an Irish pub, and then to another dance place. It was a loooong night. I took the train to Mons around 8pm and got home at 4am! Four in the morning, people! I haven’t partied like that in like years. That was eight hours – that’s like a work day. anyway, as we were out, I noticed all of the guys checking out said sensual girl. She’s just one of those girls that men are drawn to naturally. And girls too apparently because I couldn’t help but notice that she’s a way better dancer than I will ever be! All’s I know is that I will never be that way, but I have accepted that and can move on.

dusting off this blog

koreankupcake — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 09:27:02 +0000

Because I have gotten more serious about blogging, I thought I would try to keep this one more up-to-date too. Especially because of the audience in the other one, I tend to keep things G or PG for the most part, pretty neutral/Switzerland-like, and child-friendly. However, there have been several times recently that I would like to write about something, but did not want to post it on my Chocolate and Waffles site. For anyone who is reading this, please know that you one of very few. Not many know about this blog, and I would like to keep it that way. So, please don’t reference this blog site on the other one or really in any public or semi-public forum. Thanks!

I just had to call to make an ob-gyn appt – no, not preggers! anyway, I kept hoping that it was NOT going to be a male that answered the phone. And, yep, it was! Why?!? Ugh – I knew he would ask what I needed to be seen for. He first gave me an appt for like the 27th or something — and I would like/need to be seen sooner. He said, “for well women, that is as soon as I have- unless you are having an issue”. I just responded OK, which I probably should have further explained, but really, how do you tell this man that you think you have a yeast infection and need some meds. Anyway, so he asked, “are you having a problem?” I responded with a simple “yes” and left it at that (which I am sure he preferred too). He got me in today at 1:30.

This is old and outdated, but

koreankupcake — Fri, 20 Feb 2009 22:18:42 +0000

I found this blog and particularly enjoyed this post.

Kind of down

koreankupcake — Tue, 17 Feb 2009 04:29:00 +0000

So, a lot of things have happened in my life over the past week. The biggest being that we found out we are moving out of the country later this year. We knew we would be moving, but thought it was in about 18 months instead of 6. Turns out, the Army had different plans for us, so we are moving in Aug/Sept of this year. The other thing we found out is that some good friends of ours are leaving the Army Am pretty sad about that. The family, sans husband (who’s out of town with my husband), came over today. Basically, it was to say good-bye. The Mom wasn’t sure if her oldest child who is 7 understood that they were leaving here and not coming back. I had wondered the same thing – if the kids understood the situation. After hugging the 7 year old good-bye, it was very clear to me that she knew what was going on; her hug was long and hard and brought tears to my eyes.

Whatever.

koreankupcake — Fri, 06 Feb 2009 14:23:00 +0000

That’s what I thought when I was watching Good Morning America today. There was a segment on between Representative John Lewis, a civil rights activist, and a former (?) KKK member, named something Wilson. Anyway, apparently years ago, Wilson threw rocks/beat-up Lewis at a civil rights march/protest (sorry for not having all of the specifics). Basically, this Wilson guy wanted to apologize and make amends with Lewis for his behavior nearly 50 years ago. I was expecting to find a changed man – someone, who years ago, realized his ignorance and made changes for the better. Someone who lived his life and perhaps even changed careers because he had been enlightened and seen the err of his former ways. I did not get the feeling at all that Wilson was sincerely apologizing for his actions. In fact, what I got from him was that a friend recently questioned him about where he would go if he died tomorrow. Wilson said he would go to hell. I think he’s attempting to save his soul from the depths of darkness. I don’t think he’s sorry at all. Oh, and he also made some sort of comment about Obama and how he opened his eyes (even though Wilson didn’t vote for him). Personally, I think this man is dying and wants redemption. Lewis was very cordial and polite, but I am wondering what his thoughts are too. Did he really think that this guy was sincere? Did he believe that he could have changed the core of his beliefs in a mere matter of months? Hhhmm . . . I don’t think so. GMA, I know this was an attempt at a feel-good story, but it really just made me angry and wonder how no producer could even recognize the lack of sincerity that Wilson possessed.

It’s been awhile and this is short too . . .

koreankupcake — Fri, 16 Jan 2009 22:00:46 +0000

but I just had to post and say how sad I am that my favorite Korean restaurant in the next town over is being turned into a BBQ place – like Bubba’s BBQ or something horrible like that. I am so sad! I guess it figures – I am in KY.

Corporate welfare

koreankupcake — Wed, 01 Oct 2008 13:34:45 +0000

Well, what a fine mess the US finds itself in these days with the economy tanking and large corporations folding and asking for government assistance, which I have to admit, I find quite ironic. Why is it that some of the wealthiest people are often the ones that do not want to help those less fortunate than them? I am not saying all corporate execs are like this, but my guess is more of them frown upon government assisted programs such as TANF, CHIP, SNAP (the new name for the food stamp program), Medicaid, etc. than actually want to support them. I mean, why would they want to support the less fortunate? They worked hard to get where they are today and they deserve to be there (you can say that again!). So, I do have to say that this “corporate bailout plan” is nothing short of welfare for corporations. You (Mr. Corporation) are asking the government for assistance because you find yourself in a tough place with no light at the end of the tunnel. There’s no hope for future success without a little boost from Uncle Sam. Hhhmmm . . . sound familiar? Many low-income, working families feel the same way. So, I hope some of you corporate elite will think twice before you vote against programs that support those in need.

“I would buy Avon from her, but I am not voting for her!”

koreankupcake — Fri, 19 Sep 2008 15:13:00 +0000

This is my quote of the week. Er, perhaps it should be my quote of the quarter as that is about how often I blog. Anyway, I am an NPR addict – seriously, I never listen to music in the car. I have satellite radio and I have two national NPR stations and I flip between those whenever I am in the car. So, earlier this week as I was leaving to go somewhere, I turned on NPR and that was the first thing I heard from a caller – referring to, yep, Ms. Palin. I thought it was funny. Perhaps, a slight sexist undertone (though it was stated by a woman), but funny nonetheless.

I just really don’t even know what to say anymore about the GOP. Why are they always late to the party?? They never care about an “underdog” issue until someone else brings it to their attention and it gains national popularity. In this case, I am referring to women in the upper echelon of politics. I know we have Condy, Nancy Pelosi, and Elaine Chao, but I am talking about Pres and VP positions. Do you really think the GOP’s would have nominated a woman had Hillary not run a successful campaign? Highly unlikely if you ask me. And, while I am venting a bit, I must say that all these women who say they are going to vote for Palin just because she’s a woman – that’s crazy! And, so against anything that truly strong, feminist women stand for! Yes, I believe more women should be represented in politics, but the women who will continue to fight for what so many women before us stood for. I am still frustrated with this political season/year, but I do think the election will be worth watching come November. Fortunately, it’s a day off for me! Who knew? The college I work for gives us the day off for Presidential elections!

My experience with a pet psychic

koreankupcake — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 19:15:41 +0000

So, for those who may not know, I have three pets – a dog named Jasper (male), and two kitties – Baby Kitty (female) and Wellington (boy). I had Wellington first – I got him in May 2002. He was 4 at the time I got him. I later got Baby Kitty in September 2002. She was walking around my car one night after I came out of class. I noticed something under my car and then looked more closely and saw that it was a kitten. I couldn’t just leave her – even though my rule had always been one kitty per capita. In other words, your cats can’t outnumber you. Well, I took her home with the intention of feeding her and taking care of her until I found a home for her. Her home ended up being my home! I got too attached to her and couldn’t give her away even though I had someone who I KNEW would take really good care of her. So, I justified the 2^nd kitty by saying that Wellington needed a cat for himself. Which, to be honest, is probably not too far from the truth – he’s kind of a wild cat and needs a lot of interaction. Jasper was the last addition –we have had him since September 07. We got Jasper because Josh wanted a dog (I personally was just fine with the two kitties). Well, since late Sept/early Oct, the house has been less than calm. Jasper – while he’s 5 years old, still acts like a pup which the cats never liked. Wellington eventually adjusted, but Baby Kitty has spent the last 10 months or so in the basement. That’s where their food, water, and litter have always been anyway, so it wasn’t a completely new place for her. And, our washer and dryer are down there, so we go down there pretty regularly. Anyway, the past few months or so, we have noticed off and on various animal pee throughout the house. Wellington was marking his territory throughout the basement and his favorite spot in particular was Jasper’s bed. Jasper decided to join in on the peeing contest and started marking our living room furniture. Fun times. We weren’t sure what to do and just kept hoping it would go away – it wasn’t happening every week or anything – just randomly – a few times a month or so. When Josh came home one night (while I was out of town) to a pool of pee in the living room, we pretty much decided we had to do something. My friend had used a pet psychic and so I started seriously considering this route. I had already thought about the pet psychic since Jasper and Baby Kitty did not seem to be getting used to one another. Anyway, so after going back and forth a bit for the past couple of weeks, I finally made an appointment to speak with her last week.

On Friday, I called her and she asked me some questions – had already sent her pics of the pets (all 3 of them) and gave some background (Welly and Jasper keep peeing everywhere) and Baby Kitty won’t come out of the basement because she’s so afraid of the dog. So, we talk on Fri and we make arrangements for her to call me back in a few hours. She then goes and communicates with the animals and calls me to tell me what is going on.

With BK, she just gave me an exercise to do with her to help her better integrate with Jasper – she didn’t communicate with her. And, she told me that we needed to change her name because “baby kitty” implies that she has to rely on someone else all the time and cannot fend for herself. I told the lady that I usually call her Ma’am or Maamity Mamster. She said that was fine and maybe we should have an official name change ceremony – lol.

As for Jasper and Welly – the bottom line is that she said Wellington is very smart, but he’s also very bored and therefore he taunts Jasper making him have anxiety and so he pees on stuff. Welly is peeing because he’s bored and at times, is demonstrating his alpha male prowess. It’s funny because she said that we should let him outside more. And, I don’t want him to go outside, but before I got him, he was an outdoor kitty – and then he got declawed. She said he should still be ok even without his claws. We did let him go outside over the weekend while we were out in the back yard and he was fine. So, we will see. I just feel like I am shortening his life span by several years by allowing him to be exposed to the elements. Ugh. She also told us that we have to be alpha parents when it comes to making Jasper feeling safe and secure and we can’t let Welly look at Jasper weird – especially when he’s eating. Which is really odd because Wellington does go up and sniff Jasper a lot when he’s eating and Jasper always just moves away from Welly – you can tell he doesn’t like it – we noticed this pre-psychic.

So, that has been my experience with the pet psychic. I am hoping that if we can get Wellington outside more to burn off some energy and entertain himself more that that will help Jasper and his anxiety. By the way, if you haven’t thought about it before now, Jasper is a total wuss and we were not surprised at all that he could be bullied by a cat. And, we are doing our daily reconditioning exercises with Maamity Mamster and Jasper so hopefully within a few weeks, there will be balance and harmony in the house!