We all know of racism, ageism, sexism, etc. but I think there should be a new “ism” called parentism. I admit, I am guilty of it myself. I used to like to hang out with all of my non-parent friends and do all the things that people with kids could not do (stay out late, randomly decide to go to a drive-thru at 2am with your partner, take an overnight trip on a whim, go out to dinner without having to plan for weeks in advance to have a sitter lined up . . . ok, you get my drift). I usually was planning to hang out with friends who also were not “with child” and often excluded my friends who were parents.
Now I feel bad. Now that I have kids (or rather A kid) I find myself on the other side of parentism. In other words, being left out of get-togethers (because who wants to have a wine-tasting with a screaming toddler adding to the ambiance?), not being invited out for spontaneous activities (because “Carrie couldn’t go anyway – she’d have to find a sitter”). Anyway, just makes me a little sad, I guess. I figure everyone who has children will also discover how all of this feels. And, I know as well that we parents tend to stick together too. We typically are more comfortable with other parents who have been through similar scenarios. So if I am sitting at lunch with a mommy girlfriend and one of our children (likely mine) decides to have a tantrum, I don’t feel nearly as bad as I would if it were a non-mommy friend dining with me. Don’t worry – I still feel bad and hate that my child is interrupting many other lunches. But, I know from firsthand experience, the non-mommy friend is like, “whoa – what do I do? I will act like this screaming child isn’t interfering with my adult lunch, but s/he is and I know when I have kids, s/he will not act this way.”
Anyway, just needed to get that off my chest. I LOVE my daughter more than anything in the world and I wouldn’t trade the experiences I have had with her for anything. I just wish that I had known pre-baby what I know now.
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